Interpersonal connection between the therapist and the client.

"Today, during a session with a client, another analogy came to mind about how therapy works.

We are born as a soft sponge that absorbs everything easily and without doubt. We see our mother's smile and understand that we are good and loved. Childhood is the best time to be filled with love, warmth, and care. Yet, childhood is also a time when it's easiest to be filled with fear and self-doubt.

As we age, the sponge hardens and no longer absorbs new things as easily, especially if the new is different from what is already inside.

Sometimes the sponge becomes completely hardened, and absorbing anything becomes nearly impossible.

Therapy is an attempt to soften, squeeze, and refill anew. And no, it's not the therapist's theories, diagnoses, exercises, or logical conclusions. The space between the therapist and the client is the life-giving moisture that cannot be replaced by any theory, no matter how sophisticated. Remember the movie "Good Will Hunting" with Robin Williams in the lead role? That's how it ideally works.

Why does therapy take so long? How much time do you think it takes to 'soften the stale bread' that has been drying out for years? And then fill it with something else...

To absorb something radically new and opposite to what has filled us for years, it takes time... and strength... and the courage to truly meet oneself."